catceleste:

my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March 2nd” on the whiteboard in the drama classroom. It was completely arbitrary but we kept it it up, “30 days until March 2nd”  ”23 days until March 2nd” etc. It spread around enough that the entire school is buzzing about what is going to happen on March 2nd. We figure we should think of something and decide to bring in cake. There were about 13 of us in total committed to bringing a cake. On March 2nd, during 3rd period lunch we all entered the cafeteria in a line (the parade of the cakes) and laid them out—a grand cake buffet for everyone in that lunch period. We did it the next year. And after we graduated it kept going.

This past March 2nd was the 9th year they’ve done it. It’s become a school sponsored event. There are t-shirts for this thing every year. March 2nd is cake day. I am a god. 

s1uts:

lumpyspacewarrior:

izzydoodledump:

crooked-djinn:

izzydoodledump:

Jinkies!

Someone fucking photoshop Fred in that place. Please.

Ask and you shall receive!

You know I had to Scooby Dooby Doo it to ‘em.

i hate yall so much

theskaldspeaks:

daftalchemist:

themintywitch:

daftalchemist:

did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties

Tell us that story?

okay here is the story of the zombie dog

this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life

when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t

but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23 years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet

and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned

I'n simultaneously delighted, alarmed, a little horrified and impressed all at once.

theryanproject:

futureblackpolitician:

cloacacarnage:

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

korolevx:

bunkerlad:

draftmare:

soldatka:

rideonruffian:

frccdomfightcr:

every horse movie: hi my name is kady and i am a Troubled Teen™ and i’m super frustrated because this ranch has no wifi. at least there’s a cute boy who i made eye contact with! ugh look at all these horses, especially that Troubled Horse™ who Only Lets Me Ride Him

*look at that snotty rich girl who competes in all the shows and wins because he daddy buys her all the good fancy horses 

*She wants my Troubled Horse

*I will beat her in a show

+ my dad doesn’t want me to ride my Troubled Horse and i think it’s because he’s a dick but actually my mom perished in a Tragic Riding Accident and he doesn’t want to Lose Me Too 

+ the Down On His Luck Trainer thats always grumpy and that all the other Trainers think is washed up even though he had lots of winners years ago. But he’s going to help Troubled Teen win the Big Event at the end this movie and get his act back together.

@suburban-justice

did not expect to see horse movie discourse on my dash at any point but y'all are killin it keep up the good work

bipoehler-disorder:

Interviewer: Nick, what’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened on the set of ‘Parks and Recreation?’

Nick Offerman: Well, everything’s funny. But I recall one situation, not actually on set. We were all at a panel and we were doing a question and answer. And way up in the balcony was this tiny woman. And she was given the microphone and said, “Yes, hello. First of all, I’m a librarian—” and Amy, with literally no fucking pause, goes “YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.” It was pretty awesome.

trebaolofarabia:

Dog park, he’s really interested in a fire truck that just drove by.

merelybeing:

deleted-scenes:

mayahan:

Puppies On Their First Days Of Work

EMPLOYEES OF THE MONTH EVERY MONTH

ruinedchildhood:

firelorcl:

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe